Mr. Ecgonine: "I need to get checked out by the doctor right away!"
Mary: "Okay, we have an opening Thursday at..."
Mr. Ecgonine: "No! This is an emergency! I was snorting cocaine this morning, and my eyes started twitching. It must have made me catch cerebral palsy or Down Syndrome or something like that, and I need to get screened for all of those things."
Mary: "Well, I..."
Mr. Ecgonine: "Not only that, but I think I have some sort of cancer. Like lung cancer, or leukemia, or brain cancer, that kind of stuff, and I need to get screened for all of those, too."
Mary: "Okay, but..."
Mr. Ecgonine: "Hey! My dog just peed in the kitchen!"
The line went dead.